I'M NOT WHO I WAS

“Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory. So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. Because of these sins, the anger of God is coming. You used to do these things when your life was still part of this world. But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. Put on your new nature and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him.”
Colossians 3:1-10 NLT


As much as I like to think I am fine walking in and working out my salvation, these verses remind me how far I have to go. They remind me of who I am and how I may not have made as much progress as I think I have. Simple things bind me. I am constantly battling the Lord over what I want in relation to what He wants. In my heart of hearts, I know and want to follow Him in every way, but I contend with my flesh that seeks to be satisfied. I'm thankful I am not the man I was when God found me. I struggled so much as I found His path. There were things I put down and then picked up time after time. I felt conviction for my failures but lacked the strength, knowledge, and in some cases, the desire to change. Even now, when I think back to primal me, I see the blurry but still recognizable man I was. “For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what
you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.” James 1:23-25 The mask I wear protects me from revealing all of who I was to people who may not be able to forgive that man.