IT ISN'T MINE

“For all that is in the world–the desires of the flesh, the desires of the eyes, and the pride of life–is not from the Father but from the world.” 1 John 2:16
“So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.”
Matthew 10:31 NLT


I grew up without the best of everything. I always had what I needed and it was always more than sufficient. However, it didn't feel that way when I was being teased by the guys at school. At some point, I let that become my motivation. I was motivated to have things that would stop the teasing. At 12, I got my first job. I mowed yards all summer long. I would have my parents drop me off and I would work until I was finished and then go to the next yard. I remember how proud I was when I bought my first pair of NIKE shoes. That would show them. But, as luck would have it, they just found something else to tease me about. It didn't matter what I did, the appetite of the world around me was insatiable. Still, I aspired to do more, make more money, get a better car, and have more friends. By the time I was 16, I bought my brother better Christmas gifts than my parents bought him. I didn't want him to go through what I was going through. Over time, I had seen how hard my father worked just to keep us afloat. He worked 2 jobs, sometimes 3 to make ends meet. We went from an apartment to a 2-bedroom house and from there to a beautiful 3-bedroom home he built for us while mom went back to school to get her degree. His hard work paid off and we had more than we ever had. I learned a lot of things from dad about work ethic, but there was still a difference
between his ethic and mine. Our motivations were different. My motivation centered around me and his centered around family. Even when he was working multiple jobs, he included me. I learned a lot when I worked with him. I guess what I'm trying to say is, sometimes I still get caught in the trap of my stuff equating self-worth. I have forsaken some important things in order to attain more. God has blessed my hard work. I have everything I need and more, but at times, I focus more on the next goal than my next moment with the Lord. Father, help me seek You first. I have to leave all the stuff behind in the end anyway.