LIVING SACRIFICES

​“And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then, you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:1‭-‬2 NLT


Dr. Harold Sala, in his series Guidelines For Living states, “The problem with living sacrifices is that they keep crawling off the altar.” My initial thought is “stop crawling off the altar.” This statement resounds with me. How many times have I laid it all down and claimed, “Here I am, Lord!” and then turned around and jumped off the sacrificial altar? Philippians 1:21 tells us, “To live is Christ, to die is gain.” What will it take for me to stay on the altar? This....this daily time I spend in prayer and worship. At one point, not long ago, God called me to the altar at our church. The pastor preached a sermon a couple of months earlier about Lazarus walking out of his grave. That sermon began eating at something in me that I have been fighting with for several years. God and I have not been on the best of terms since I returned from a mission trip to Romania. I'm not sure what dark force overtook me, but it did. I found myself separated from God. It didn't matter how much I prayed, how much time I spent in worship, how much time I spent in church, or how many things I did in His name. I was dead. God's voice, the one I was used to hearing had disappeared. I was accustomed to the voice of God being in my ear most of the time, then all of a sudden it was silent. The well that I drank from dried up. Sure, every now and then I would still get a portion and be able to minister it or share it, but it just wasn't what it was or should have been. For many years, I have been living off of my knowledge of scripture and a stubborn faith that required me to be in the Lord's house. I don't regret being faithful to being assembled with believers. Many times it was the encouragement that kept me going. My wife has been married to a man she didn't know, and my kids have been raised by a father that wasn't all the Lord designed him to be. Nonetheless, I could not find my way out of the tomb until the Word opened the scripture about Lazarus walking out of his grave. Since that point in time, I have been pushing through the desolation and spiritual isolation I have been trapped in. The Lord called me to the altar for an undisclosed period of time. For several months, I was at the church from 7-9 each Sunday morning pouring out my life on the altar, praying for the worship team, praying for our pastor, praying for the upcoming crusade, praying that God's Spirit be poured out on our congregation to the point that we cannot resist Him. I am still not in a place where I hear like I was accustomed, but that time is coming. The biggest part of the change is due to the amount of time I have been spending in prayer and the Godly council I have received from the men I have surrounded myself with who have held me accountable. My daily devotionals are not just about reading to be reading. For me, they are about renewing my mind and re-establishing the foundation on which God is rebuilding my faith and trust in Him. I blamed Him for shutting down the well, but in that desert I walked through, God has given me a perspective that allows me to see others who are desert dwellers. I pray that no one has to survive in the desert I was privileged to walk through. I know the Lord was with me as I walked there. During this period, I lost my livelihood twice. Two times my life was consumed by fire and God provided my every need. There are countless other things that occurred during those years that I will not mention, but the Lord was there through them as well. I blamed Him for a lot. It's easy to do when you are in the desert. I was one of the grumbling Children of Israel praying for God to feed me and care for me, but never being satisfied. So now, full circle, I climb back on the altar, and I wait. What comes next I do not know, but on the altar of praise I will stay. Broken, but alive. Maybe that's what we all need to see. Broken isn't the end. Broken is the beginning of a new season. Broken doesn't mean it is over and done, but that the Lord is working to bind the wounds and heal the broken heart that He has finally found on the altar.